don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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