What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
