If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
