made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
