she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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