Cold hands, warm shart.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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