Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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