chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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