After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
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