Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
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