I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
