i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
