I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
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