My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
