just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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