wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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