I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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