thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
