This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
