if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
