I hope mine doesn't look like that
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
