dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Randomize
