yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
