We're like a lot better than the average bears
well you can't waste a boner
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize