I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize