what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
Randomize
