He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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