i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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