Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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