His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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