Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
