He is an equal opportunity slut.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Randomize
