I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
