Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
