so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
