I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
should my penis look like a turkey
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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