Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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