I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Randomize
