Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
