We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
