Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize