the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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