walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
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