Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize