Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Randomize
