so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
