How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
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