He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
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