And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
