I think my fart just growled at me.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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