if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
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