Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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