I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
