I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
