this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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