I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I am midnight drunk by noon
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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