girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
