they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Randomize
