I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize