i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
