his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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